# 4 More on the “Disappearing Date”

11Sep09

M. Hill, author of The Ones That Got Away: A Dating Memoir, a really fun book, do check it out,  had this to say about the guy who says he’ll call, and actually he does, but two months later:

First off, unless you’ve actually surveyed neutral observers about how a date went, you really won’t know anything other than your own interpretation.  Our ‘feelings’ have such little bearing on reality. [author’s note:  busted…]

Now for the meat-and-potatoes: When a guy says that he will call you and he doesn’t, it simply means that you’ve been out with a non-confrontational guy who would rather end the date with some easy getaway (for him) than be forthright. Honestly, what do these spineless guys think will happen if they just walk away? Do they really think that women will drop to the ground, grab hold of their ankles and beg them not to leave? Why is it that women don’t typically have the same over-inflated opinions of themselves?

And, if he does decide to call in a couple of months, remind him that ‘if you snooze, you lose’ and tell him to lose your number. You’re worth more than some guy who decides, 8 weeks after a date with you, he’ll grace you with another opportunity to see him. There’s something going on there and you should have no part in it. I’m sure you’d would draw the same conclusion yourself after date #2, anyway.

That’s what I think, but then again, I may be a little jaded on the subject.  You wouldn’t even believe what I went through with a blind date I had years ago because of this – see Chapter 7 of my book for the complete story.

Sounds like the voice of experience…


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